entreaties to failure

upcoming quiz

the thin man sat stroking his pet, Magnus

i don't mean to be brutish, magnus. i don't mean to offend, but really magnus, stop doing that thing with grinding yr teeth. it is, u chew like a cow magnus. i am frank- u chew like a cow. u r where we draw the line between man and cow. subspecies hybrid.

magnus, obviously offended- how long have we been together thin man? this is approaching 12 years, and miraculous only since the last 2 days do u condemn my chewing. what i don't eat in the past 11 years 11 months? like i was on a juice diet? u think my teeth have grown too large for my jaws? my inseams gargantuan? in fact, thin man, i have given up being yr pet. i resolve to leave this shit-hovel. look at the shower curtain. there is a capital of filth, ooze. i am taking my aloe plant with me. u keep the tortoise.

thin man- magnus don't! im sorry. im just in a bad mood. i had a really really bad day at work is all.

u treat me like shit, and i am fed up thin man, THING MAN

good 'ole Wladimir, the life insurance salesman, interceded in the argument
- magnus, come on, where will u go? u have no family but thin man. there aren't options.

MAGNUS- anything is better. the street is better than daily harassment. the subjection to torturous critique. every this and that is wrong. i am, after all, somebodies child, and more than a pet. i will find my true parents.

CURTAIN END OF ACT !