i am going to start a new website. it is called unter dem wasser. it will deal with contemporary rabbinical/ canonical/ killa cam issues. stay tuned.


Don’t be a stranger
Don’t be a Texas Ranger
I am a changer
Of batteries

magnus:
stare at the TV screen
what does it all mean?

Thomas:
I am a teen
my friends call me bean

Justin:
Wanna go out on the scene
gotta spend some time to preen

Squirrel, there are two types of people in this world, squirrel, squirrel, are you listening….



I rap in installations
I love clay-mations
and glue
Accumulate bar mitzah invitations
doo doo
Hackey sack is my vocation

I spend so much time on the internet that I figured I would ask if any one has seen my dog? he went missing several days ago. Here is a photo:

I am thriving

Somebody get me to a Rabbi Even the weirdo Hasidic thinks I am a Rabbi Maybe I am a Rabbi Do you know where the Rabbi lives

There I was, like the rest of us, in the baths recovering from the TB inoculation. When, weirdly enough, I started getting this itching irritation all over my fur. It was actually changing color before my eyes, from luscious brown to a dark purple stain. It was horrifying. Then I bought the product and it went away. Then it came back. Then I had an operation and it was gone. The lesson of this story really is, if you absolutely need to get inoculated for TB, make sure the vaccination they are giving you actually is TB.

READ MY BLOG

heres why you should do it

- it is informative and will keep you up to date on current events
- it is snarky and willing to take risks
- it discusses events from all walks of life, not just the high or low or middle, but all of them
- it will teach you yoga
- it will tech you how to cook better
- it will teach you how to love better (by which i mean fuck better, male libido enhancement, and also female techniques)
- ?

do you really need more reasons

Elegy for the fountain, where it was

I remember when I was a freshman and I saw the Bouncing Souls along with Little Steven play nearby the fountain, actually I think they played under the arch, which is staying where it is. It would be too much work to move the whole arch. Wouldn’t that be crazy if they moved the arch instead of the fountain? It would make no sense. Someone told me once that a homeless dude had told them that the fountain served as a bathroom, for shitting mainly but also I guess for washing, for much of downtown’s homeless population, and wasn’t it stupid how all these kids and tourists would frolic in the fountain. I never really wanted to frolic in the fountain anyway. It’s a little gay, like the sound of music or something, unless you are a kid. I wonder will homeless people shit in the new fountain or will they find another old fountain. There are actually quite a few fountains around, more than you might think.

Do you see squirrel?

He is there hanging in the park, by the bushes. Him and the bros are playing dice for acorns shards, always hustling, calculating.

This park ain’t what it used to be though

Soon there’s not gonna be any of us guys around

They got all this new shit moving in. Royalty, like foxes and stuff. The pigeons are getting tossed out. They’re moving the fountain, which is where we all used to hang. I heard they’re building some kind of high profile dog park, which they have always been our naturally enemies, like class enemies. And there always get shit built for them and getting pampered and how gives a shit about the squirrels? Never seen a squirrel park get built. And you never will

- ok old, timer, what you say we head over to the watering hole, get us some H2o

- no, Joshua, leave me here. I want to be with my people for one last time

Which begs the question, who are you rooting for?

Oh me, come on, I don’t know I like having these guys around but the crime

AS A MATTER OF FAC SQUIRREL IS BACK

I emerged from the chasm. Where have I been you ask? The short answer is that I fell. I fell in a deep dark never-ending void. When you are a squirrel, or if you are just very small in general, it is sometimes easy to fall in things. You have to be very careful. My Uncle Quester once fell into a pool of lava. That was a long time ago in Hawaii. What? You didn’t know there were squirrels in Hawaii? Apparently neither did the authorities at lava flow national park. On the long duplicitous walk through the depths of an active volcano, those incompetent fuckers, they forgot, or so their lawyer argued, “forgot”, to consider the idea that someone under 12 inches might want to take their little tour- and if he should do so with all his family to watch and take pix, including one right before the “accident” where Quester is smiling and laughing, then the poor soul would fall through the mother- fucking cracks of the gang way into the spewing crackling lava! This has nothing to do with the chasm that I have emerged from, however. No, my hole was much darker, much more sinister. Less natural, you might say. You see, for some time now, I have been experimenting with a certain experimental mind altering formula which I believe has the capacity to transform a squirrel into a fly and vice versa. In the course of my research, I found that I needed a test subject. As an adamant objector to inhumane treatment of animals, I of course looked to the first place one would look- my brother Paulus, a halfling. As one who is half squirrel half human, he was in a unique position to test my new device.