the squirrel and the whale

After capsizing from his vessel, (squirrel was never an adequate sailor and the pursuit of the Guinness Cup around Cape Horn was a real lapse in judgment, but he had just been divorced and the adventurous pursuit had exhibited a certain luster in those harrowing days after the final separation), Squirrel got swallowed up by a titanic whale, like that forbearing pariah Jonah. Except where Jonah was created on the sixth day, Squirrel’s likeness was formulated on a prior date. Squirrel got sucked through the thick baleen squelching tusks and found himself in a hotbed of nappy fluids, a stank boiling chamber that resembled nothing in his experience so much as a Bikram Studio in Midtown commandeered by the master Takahashi, and perhaps buried deep within Squirrel's residual unconscious, the whale’s belly resembled the honest indifference of his mother’s fetal womb. What would you do when faced with such a sequence of events? Squirrel felt the pressure increase as the whale bailed deeper and deeper into the unexplored recesses of the ocean. His furry ears popped, his molars tingled. The stomach chamber was so large that there was an adequate supply of oxygen, don't even worry about that, there WAS enough time for GOD to inflict some PAINFUL JUDGEMENT. But no one will ever know how Squirrel didn’t totally freak the fuck out in the midst of all that swirling juicy chaos in the whirling innards of the beast. How did our illicit dude pass the time? According to legend after a fortnight the LEVIATHAN washed up on a bedazzled bright beach in Long Island, near the expressway. Upon encountering the deceased beast, locals swore that they spotted a starved rodent clamber with much difficulty out of its blow hole. Another, unconfirmed account suggests that upon examining the teeth of the LEVIATHAN, researched were stunned to find dozens of minute scrimshaw engravings depicting the trials and tribulations of the squirrel race in its darkest hour.