Tuesday, May 29, 2007

posied to conquer?

i slammed my audition for true life- i'm in fat camp. i gargled with ketchup- that one really impressed the judges. also, i told them about how my father used to call me Umberto the clam man, and all the other horrid names- like slime. i guess i really can pull off the role of an obese 16 year old from New Providence. keep yr fingers crossed for me- call backs are on Thursday!

meanwhile, i fessed up to my parole officer about a crime i witnessed while shopping for a juicer;

they went into hot topic and stole 12 social distortion t-shirts, edible undies, and a fat records comp. they were wearing t shirts about leonard peltier and spoke with south African accents